The Jitters, Heebie-Jeebies, and Those Screaming Meemies

Jitters = fancy way of saying “I’m nervous and feeling anxious!” Today, on the cusp of vacation, I have a severe case of the jitters. I looked up the definition(nervousness, another word for jitters: an uneasy psychological state) and ways to calm those pesky feelings down. What I found seemed to be more related to an actual psychological problem. I don’t think the average person has “nervousness issues” like someone who gets anxiety attacks. Anyone can get them of course but, it takes extreme (subjective) circumstances for it to reach that level of intensity.

The kind of jitters I’m talking about are the kinds that drive you to distraction because you can only think of the future. Past and present don’t exist when the jitters are contracted. The only thing that matters in the mind of someone with jitters (i think….?) would HAVE to be the future! I am so focused on everything I need and want to do before my flight leaves on Monday morning that focusing on work is…. impossible. Impossible, I tell you!!

The satisfaction I would get from completing my list, is unreachable while I am tied to this desk and chair. My bottom knows it wants to leave and is falling asleep to punish me for not moving. I have been attempting for months now, to NOT focus on what I want to do with my life simply because right NOW, I must be here. I must be in this corporate world. Even if it is temporary. I must exist here in order to move forward. It’s the pause button my circumstances have pushed for me. I bring this up because, I am on the brink of 10 days of vacation. Even though visiting family is stressful in and of itself, it’s still so much better than where I am sitting… right… now… I’m hoping these days will bring more clarity to what I want my next personal move to be.

I’ve been working on rebuilding my hobbies and although I am limited by salary and so I must adjust what I like to do accordingly and build up supplies (knitting, graphic design, photography, sewing machine, puppy). I’ve recently taken up lyrical writing to attempt to express my feelings. Good luck with that, I think to myself!

I have no clue how to get through this type of jitters, this normal jittery feeling. I, apparently write blog posts. If anyone has helpful tips on dealing more with the disappointing “now”, because of the hopeful future, please post them and let me know.

The struggle is real!

*the only helpful hint I have is, put Hozier on your pandora. He has a calming voice and the station pulls up other random calm and beautiful music. 

 

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