The Jitters, Heebie-Jeebies, and Those Screaming Meemies

Jitters = fancy way of saying “I’m nervous and feeling anxious!” Today, on the cusp of vacation, I have a severe case of the jitters. I looked up the definition(nervousness, another word for jitters: an uneasy psychological state) and ways to calm those pesky feelings down. What I found seemed to be more related to an actual psychological problem. I don’t think the average person has “nervousness issues” like someone who gets anxiety attacks. Anyone can get them of course but, it takes extreme (subjective) circumstances for it to reach that level of intensity.

The kind of jitters I’m talking about are the kinds that drive you to distraction because you can only think of the future. Past and present don’t exist when the jitters are contracted. The only thing that matters in the mind of someone with jitters (i think….?) would HAVE to be the future! I am so focused on everything I need and want to do before my flight leaves on Monday morning that focusing on work is…. impossible. Impossible, I tell you!!

The satisfaction I would get from completing my list, is unreachable while I am tied to this desk and chair. My bottom knows it wants to leave and is falling asleep to punish me for not moving. I have been attempting for months now, to NOT focus on what I want to do with my life simply because right NOW, I must be here. I must be in this corporate world. Even if it is temporary. I must exist here in order to move forward. It’s the pause button my circumstances have pushed for me. I bring this up because, I am on the brink of 10 days of vacation. Even though visiting family is stressful in and of itself, it’s still so much better than where I am sitting… right… now… I’m hoping these days will bring more clarity to what I want my next personal move to be.

I’ve been working on rebuilding my hobbies and although I am limited by salary and so I must adjust what I like to do accordingly and build up supplies (knitting, graphic design, photography, sewing machine, puppy). I’ve recently taken up lyrical writing to attempt to express my feelings. Good luck with that, I think to myself!

I have no clue how to get through this type of jitters, this normal jittery feeling. I, apparently write blog posts. If anyone has helpful tips on dealing more with the disappointing “now”, because of the hopeful future, please post them and let me know.

The struggle is real!

*the only helpful hint I have is, put Hozier on your pandora. He has a calming voice and the station pulls up other random calm and beautiful music. 

 

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Song of the Day – It’s A Good Life

I heard this song while I was getting ready for my day and after the past few days I needed that uplifting song. I had to take my boyfriend to the ER the other night (he is fine now!) but it has been a rough couple of days taking care of him, we are both ready for his pain to go away, and this song about freedom helps keep us focused on what we are fighting for. I’ll write about it later but, for now listen to this lovely song by the Kongos! I present to you “It’s a Good Life.”

Yeah we all have had those dreams
O-o-of the sun, and the sea and an island
Where you switch off
It’s a good life
It’s a good life
For me

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

O-o-of the sun, and the sea and an island

O-o-of the sun, and the sea and an island…..

 

The Rotating Wheel of Existence

“Life is a full circle, widening until it joins the circle motions of the infinite.”― Anaïs Nin

Now, I am a big fan of animals. Horses and dogs are my favorite. I have been around them my whole life. I kind of like birds too, it just depends on the bird. The reason I am bringing up animals is because today… I witnessed the circle of life.

I arrived at work to find a huge moth on the floor (unfortunately I wasn’t awake enough to realize I should take a cool picture). At first I thought it was dead and so I was just going to scoop it up and move it to the garbage. However, as I was leaning over… it moved…

Since insects aren’t exactly my favorite creatures to touch I asked a coworker, who had just walked in, to kindly scoop it up and gently place it outside. He was nice enough to oblige. However, right after placing it by a bush near the sidewalk, it didn’t move! Not an inch! So we went back in and kind of observed the next part. Before the door even closed this bird hopped up to the moth and very rapidly stabbed it in the gut! I was momentarily horrified. It was such a sudden death I had no time to prepare myself. Makes me wonder what the rest of the day has in store for me if a moth can’t even survive.

However, I have come to terms with the fact that this is the Circle of Life (here is the link that y’all are looking for) and there is no stopping it. It’s the beauty of nature. One beast exists to feed the bigger beast. Nothing to do but appreciate the time we have and make the most of our short lives before the Circle of Life catches up with us.

PicMonkey Collage

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