I’m Back My Friends!

Golden Trees

Golden Trees

I am finally back on my blog for real for the first time since January!!!! This means I will actually spend time documenting the mundane, the exciting, and random life of yours truly. Forgive me if I have been gone so long you’ve forgotten who I am, the fault is all mine.

A lot has happened since January! I nannied for two awesome kids that I mentioned in a previous post. Those little boys taught me a lot about myself and how to handle and become friends with children. Even though I am not an only child (coming from a family of six), I am the youngest. We all know what that means! I was spoiled to a certain extent and I didn’t really have to deal with other siblings encroaching on my privacy or being supremely annoying. I was the annoying one and I taught my siblings how to handle kids (at least I hope I helped in all my craziness). So these two little boys truly were a blessing and very intelligent for their ages. I miss them a lot as I have yet to meet equally intelligent kids and reasonable children. I can only hope my own kids will be that great!

Unfortunately, in May I had to leave my apartment to stay with my boyfriends family for the summer and also that family’s employment because it just wasn’t economical for me to drive 40 minutes every day for only 4 hours of work. Sad, but I was able to find a job only 5 minutes away from the house. I became a nanny for the most fiery little girl I have ever had the pleasure to work with. She challenged me every day and I got a glimpse at what can happen when a child is surrounded by impatience and insincerity. Her mother on the other hand was a pretty despicable human being and after a few months finally let me in on the secret that what she had promised to pay me when I first took the job, just wasn’t going to happen. So based on that new information I said, thank you kindly but goodbye. She said some pretty unkind things to me on that last day and I have no regrets about leaving except that I left that poor little girl in the hands of a terrible mother who was flat drunk the day I quit.

Moving on from that, I got a week off from work and flew home to MN to see my family, especially my wonderful Grandpa. I got to see him and spend some quality time with him. I was very grateful for this time as a few months later he passed away and I wasn’t able to go home for the funeral. It was hard on our whole family to lose such an amazing person, especially my Grandma, my mother and her 3 other siblings. A friend recommend the book Midwife For Souls and I read parts of it to see if I should give it to my family. Turns out it is a pretty awesome book, so I sent it to my mother. My mom read it and ended up recommending sections to other family members. My hope was that it would help even a little and my mom told me that it did indeed help with the approach of his death.

After I got back from my visit, I found a job pretty quickly as a Graphic Designer/Personal Assistant! It ended up being pretty awesome and my boss even let me take the job with me to Colorado and I get to work from home!!

Long story short, Casey (the boyfriend) was taking summer classes to prepare for grad school. He wants to become a physical therapist after all of the trauma and physical issues from the past year and so he started preparing. He’s applied to schools all over the country but after our visit in April, we both wanted to end up in Colorado. He found out near the middle of August that we needed to move here ASAP to work on getting residency for one of the schools here. homeSo in less than a month, with a lot of hard work, and Casey’s awesome mom helping, we thankfully found an awesome house! We’ve been both blessed and lucky in so many ways this year!

 

 

 

Check out this VIEW!!!

 

 

The view from my house!! So lucky.

The view from my house!! So lucky.

Now I am working from home and next week I start MASSAGE THERAPY SCHOOL!!!!! That’s right, I’m adding another skill to this jack-of-all-trades. It will take a year for me to finish, but in the end it will be worth it.

In the meantime, I resolve not to leave you (and myself) for so long and annoy everyone who cares to read this blog.

I’ll catch ya on the flipside 😉

 

We decided to call this forest, The Forest of Gold. With fall comes the most beautiful colors in the universe!

We decided to call this forest, The Forest of Gold. With fall comes the most beautiful colors in the universe!

Just me at Muehller State Park

Just me at Muehller State Park

Be More Mantis

Praying MantisThe New Year ensues and I find myself scrambling to find a job in a week after a few things fell through (as things tend to do sometimes). Yesterday I finally found an awesome family to nanny for! That’s right people, I’m going to check out child psychology through a nanny’s perspective. I’ve been thinking about going back to school for developmental behavior or child psychology because childhood is the most important part of our development as humans and I’d like to better understand it. I’m sure I’ll have lot’s of stories to share!

Back in October or September, Casey and I were going for a walk and on our way out we passed his car. I was startled to see a rather large praying mantis just chillin’ on his windshield watching our every move. I quickly ran back in to get my camera because… let’s be honest, to see a praying mantis is pretty awesome. They seem to hold this infinite wisdom all while balancing on these tiny legs, being able to move at incredible speed and see 180 degrees around themselves. We kept trying to sneak up on it and it would just swivel to find us immediately! It was crazy.Praying Mantis 2

In this busy season, when everyone is going a mile a minute, let’s be more mantis. Take some time to be still and calm. Listen to your inner creativity and expand your balance.

Song of the Day – Home by Ingrid Michaelson

Picture from Pixaby.com

Picture from Pixaby.com

Who would have thought someone with a harsh and old fashioned sounding name like “Ingrid” would have such a lovely, smooth, classy voice and style? I’m not sure I would have…. either way, she has talent and has actually made me love the name “Ingrid” as well as get me back to my core strong woman. This song “Home”(video) is simple but I felt it appropriate since I just went home for a visit.  However, my home isn’t so much based in Minnesota any more, or even Arkansas where I spent most of my childhood. My home has become my other half, the person who I can’t wait to see every day and every moment spent with him is meaningful. As cheesy as it is, he has become my home away from home.

BUT just listen and follow along with the lyrics if you’d like and let the song take you back home, addio voi bella gente!   🙂

“I know everything about this place, it wears your face
Even when my body blows away, my soul will stay”

Song of the Day – I See Fire by Ed Sheeran (tribute to my other love, JRR Tolkien)

Being a J.R.R. Tolkien fan, I can’t help but get a little excited about the up and coming continuation of The Hobbit in movie form. Despite how I feel about them changing the story for certain key things… like A LOT (Here is the article that breaks the changes down) I find the story still beautiful and well told. It would be hard to lose everything Tolkien wrote, it is also impossible to put everything he wrote into a movie. I still consider LOTR the best made film from novel adaptation I’ve every watched. However, I feel like Jackson took more liberties with The Hobbit than with LOTR. Than again, I need to read the book again to freshen my memory!!

This song, I See Fire, is pretty awesome despite how I may or may not feel about the films. The Hobbit is a lovely and mystical story and this song is equal to that, with a trendy music feel to it. (I liked Ed before it was cool! Hipster moment.). I really liked the way he set up his lyrics and instruments.

And if we should die tonight
Then we should all die together
Raise a glass of wine for the last time

sunset

Sunsets in Texas… Beautiful! This was my fire over the weekend.

The Jitters, Heebie-Jeebies, and Those Screaming Meemies

Jitters = fancy way of saying “I’m nervous and feeling anxious!” Today, on the cusp of vacation, I have a severe case of the jitters. I looked up the definition(nervousness, another word for jitters: an uneasy psychological state) and ways to calm those pesky feelings down. What I found seemed to be more related to an actual psychological problem. I don’t think the average person has “nervousness issues” like someone who gets anxiety attacks. Anyone can get them of course but, it takes extreme (subjective) circumstances for it to reach that level of intensity.

The kind of jitters I’m talking about are the kinds that drive you to distraction because you can only think of the future. Past and present don’t exist when the jitters are contracted. The only thing that matters in the mind of someone with jitters (i think….?) would HAVE to be the future! I am so focused on everything I need and want to do before my flight leaves on Monday morning that focusing on work is…. impossible. Impossible, I tell you!!

The satisfaction I would get from completing my list, is unreachable while I am tied to this desk and chair. My bottom knows it wants to leave and is falling asleep to punish me for not moving. I have been attempting for months now, to NOT focus on what I want to do with my life simply because right NOW, I must be here. I must be in this corporate world. Even if it is temporary. I must exist here in order to move forward. It’s the pause button my circumstances have pushed for me. I bring this up because, I am on the brink of 10 days of vacation. Even though visiting family is stressful in and of itself, it’s still so much better than where I am sitting… right… now… I’m hoping these days will bring more clarity to what I want my next personal move to be.

I’ve been working on rebuilding my hobbies and although I am limited by salary and so I must adjust what I like to do accordingly and build up supplies (knitting, graphic design, photography, sewing machine, puppy). I’ve recently taken up lyrical writing to attempt to express my feelings. Good luck with that, I think to myself!

I have no clue how to get through this type of jitters, this normal jittery feeling. I, apparently write blog posts. If anyone has helpful tips on dealing more with the disappointing “now”, because of the hopeful future, please post them and let me know.

The struggle is real!

*the only helpful hint I have is, put Hozier on your pandora. He has a calming voice and the station pulls up other random calm and beautiful music. 

 

Song of the Day – Turn On Me by The Shins

This was the perfect song for this past month or so for me. It is called Turn On Me by The Shins, a great band with great messages in many of their songs.The whole song meaning revolves around falling out with a former band member, they had issues like most relationships do. This was huge because recently in my own relationships (mostly my man) I had the revelation that in any relationship that has potential, whether its platonic or romantic, if there is that missing aspect of communication then it will be doomed. It amazes me that if we tweaked only a few of the ways we communicate with that significant other, it can completely change everything and it will grow. If we refuse to change or back down and remain in our stubborn societal mindset of “I’m the center of the universe and I’m more important than everyone else,” inevitably we will be setting our relationships up for failure.

So affections fade away,
And do adults just learn to play
The most ridiculous, repulsive games?
On the faith of ruddy sons,
And the double-barreled guns,
You better hurry,
Rabbit, run, run, run.
‘Cause meeting you was fun,
And there’s a lot of hungry howlers in this one cell.
We’re taking it over,
Their brittle, thorny stems,
They break before they bend,
And neither one of us is one of them.

All it takes is a little humility, respect for the human person, and forgiveness. I’m sure easier said than done, but these are simple concepts that our own stubborn pride can make complicated. All the same, it does take two to tango. If it doesn’t work out, get back on that horse and ride!! Never forget hope and forgiveness.

So I took your licks at the time,
And to change like that is just so hard to do,
Hard to do.
Don’t let it whip-crack your life,
And bow out from the fight,
Those old pious sisters were right
The worst part is over,
Now, get back on that horse and ride.

Song of the Day – Emmylou

I heard this song yesterday and I have come to really appreciate Vance Joy’s music. Talk about calming and romantic all in one artist. This song counters that emotional roller coaster we all ride in the amusement park of love (ha ha) and it just feels good to hear it and read over the lyrics. It’s sweet and definitely a love song, so if you aren’t in the soft and fuzzy mood then you should probably not listen to the song.

Oh if you’re losing sleep…
Oh if you’re losing sleep, scared of shadows.

I present to you Emmylou by Vance Joy! Here are the lyrics, purely for convenience. I know y’all can Google things too…

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